How do I feel about it? A bit sad, but a lot relieved. That thing has been stressing me out quite a bit, and now it's gone. It closes a few doors: I'll probably never teach at a university quite the way I originally had in mind, for example. However, I am pretty well-established in a successful career, and I like managing, so I'm not too badly hurt. As much as anything, it's a blow to my ego, but one which I can weather.
What now? Well, I've decided to take a few months to rest and let the facts settle in, rather than leaping onto my next project. I'll start thinking seriously about my next major undertaking in late July, after my vacation.